How to Ask an Author for a Favor

A shocking few nail it.

Photo by Nick Morrison on Unsplash

Maybe you’ve written something. Or your kid has. Or your friend’s kid has. And now you’re like, “What should I do? Is it good? Maybe a professional author will know!” Or you just kind-of think being an author would be fun, because Carrie Bradshaw made it seem fun, and you find yourself wanting to commit the violence known as “picking someone’s brain” about it, that someone being an author. Maybe you’d like a publishing contact or you’d like to publicize the book that you have already written and published. Congratulations, if so!

In all of these cases and more, you may find yourself wanting to reach out to an author you know because you’ve read them or heard of them or heard that someone you know went to high school with them. You will often find—oh, joy!—that they’re pretty accessible, because they are always trying to be available for interviews about their work or other such opportunities. It’s quite likely you’ll find an email address or a “contact” page on a website that serves as a direct portal to their very in-box. Barring this, you can always DM them, right?

The ease of reaching authors like me seems to sometimes—nay, often—result in what I deem not-very-thoughtful enquiries. I say that given the evidence in my own email and DMs, as well as the “can you believe this?” messages shared with me by many of my author friends. I hate to tell you this, but I actually have a text chain that is largely dedicated to us complaining about the vague, entitled, and otherwise baffling messages we receive from strangers. How do you avoid ending up in our OH NO NOT AGAIN file? Is it possible to do one better and even end up on the receiving end of the exact favor you’d hoped for, and maybe even more? YES! And I am here to tell you exactly how, by sharing with you the two best favor emails I’ve ever received and pointing out their strengths.

The first is one I got recently, and, in fact, inspired this post. I copied and pasted it in my text chain and said, Behold! The Platonic ideal of a request email! Here it is, from Blair Glaser, an acquaintance (via Facebook) who has a fantastic sounding memoir coming out called Incredible Longing. (I’m sharing this with her permission, and I think you should pre-order her book.)

Dear Jennifer,

I hope this email finds you well.

I just spent some time on your website and am so impressed with your body of work, and how you teach us about living and culture through sitcoms (and pop stars and Mean Girls). Congrats on the upcoming Parks and Rec pub!

I’m coming out with my first book (Heliotrope) just a few months before your launch. It’s a memoir called This Incredible Longing: Finding My Self in a Near Cult Experience, about my time leading up to and living in the Siddha Yoga Catskills ashram in the 90s.

I am looking for spiritual or Buddhist writers who would be interested in reviewing it for Tricycle or Lion’s Roar. I know you’re going to be insanely busy, but do you know anyone who would be a potential fit?

Thanks for any thoughts or leads on my behalf.

Warmly,

Blair

No offense to Blair, but you may be like, “This isn’t even that complicated.” Correct! It is not! And yet it is extraordinary in that I get so few that nail it like this.

Here’s what I love about it, in order:

1. She indicates that she knows specifically who I am, what I write about, and that she has invested time in understanding my current status. She knows I have a book coming out and what it’s about. She has taken time to congratulate me on it. In short, she understands that I am not only an author with information she wants, but also a fellow human with a life and an ego.

2. She has explained in the right amount of detail that she has a book coming out, when it’s coming out, and (briefly!) what it’s about. She linked it so that I can learn more if I choose.

3. She has a specific ask. She knows from our previous interactions that I have done a significant amount of writing for the Buddhist magazines she mentions, so this is a sensible ask.

4. Nice detail: She acknowledges my busyness. Love it. This says, “Don’t knock yourself out, but also this might be an easy and direct question for you to answer.” In this case, she was right, and I answered her right away.

5. A parting thank you! Important!

Again, this all seems just basically human, but I think people start freaking out and being weird when they have to ask for something. Also, often, they kind-of know they’re asking too much or fishing, which puts a massive burden on the askee. Don’t do this. Only send the email when you’re clear on your request, 75 percent sure the person is in a position to deliver it, and, I want to say, pretty much 100 percent sure this is not a massive boundary breach.

I will read his books, but not cold email him to ask for a huge favor.

For instance, I love and admire Nick Hornby and have been a fan for decades. I’m fairly certain he would like me a lot if he knew me. But he doesn’t know me, so I will not ask him to lunch, even if I stumble across his email. You start with something reasonable, and if it goes well, after several interactions, perhaps it will feel right to get more personal. But think very, very hard before trying this. Go too far and you will lose the correspondence forever.

I so wish I could show you some bad examples, but that would be mean. So I will tell you I have gotten requests to: meet in person when we have never met at all, have no personal ties, and have not even interacted much/at all with each other’s social posts; “connect as writers,” with no explanation of what we have in common or what this person wants; read someone’s kid’s college essay when we have never met in person or electronically; read someone’s manuscript to tell them if it is good (again, with little to no personal connection); and to share my agent’s contact information with someone because they said they wanted to write a book about Larry David, who co-created Seinfeld. While I did write a book about Seinfeld, I did not feel comfortable throwing my agent to a stranger. (This person actually messaged me several times via multiple social platforms and then chastised me when I did not answer.)

Anyway, back to the good ones! Here’s a slightly longer and more complicated one, but afterwards I’ll tell you why it worked. It’s from ten years ago, after my book about The Mary Tyler Moore Show; I received it while working on my follow-up Seinfeldia.(I’ve written about this before with Kathryn’s permission.)

Dear Jennifer,

First of all, I wanted to say that I love your book! I just read Mary and Lou and Rhoda and Ted and adored it. I laughed, I cried (mostly on the subway, which was embarrassing). And that Grant Tinker—what a classy guy!

Second of all, I’m taking your Book Proposal class on Skillshare right now and am almost finished with my proposal. I was wondering if I could hire you to review it? I probably won’t be done until the end of February—I’m not sure if that timing is ok for you.

My book is actually very similar to yours. It’s my dream project that I’ve been thinking about for the past ten years or so but only just got serious about. It’s the story behind the making of The Golden Girls (I was really excited to see that you mentioned Susan Harris a few times in your book, mostly in reference to Fay—awesome!). It’s a little sad to say, but I feel The Golden Girls show has been one of the biggest “constants” in my life for as long as I can remember, since it’s really never been out of syndication. I love everything Susan Harris did, particularly the abortion episode of Maude (classic!) and Soap. I’m also obsessed with Mitch Hurwitz, and GG was his first job out of college. And thanks to your book, I learned that Gail Parent also worked on GG! I just ordered her Sheila Levine book on ebay. I can’t wait to read it.

I live here in NYC, and I was wondering if you possibly wanted to barter assistant work for some guidance on my book? I’m totally prepared to pay you for the critique, but I was wondering if you’re working on anything now and wanted some free administrative labor (transcribing interviews, research, filing, getting your coffee!), in exchange for some occasional guidance on my project. Did I see somewhere that you’re working on a Seinfeld book? I might have made that up, but I hope not. Seinfeld, and really anything involving Larry David, will always have a very special place in my heart.

But no worries if you aren’t interested in the bartering—I still want to pay for your services!

Just a little about me… I currently work on the Media team at the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) and write pop culture-y things on the side for websites like The Hairpin and This Recording. I’m working on expanding my platform, with a website and bigger national clips.

I guess that’s it. Hope to speak to you soon!

Thanks,

Kathryn

1. Wow. The opening is complimentary, which makes me want to read more (it works on all of us!); and she offers such minute specifics that I believed she really read and loved my book.

2. With the Skillshare bit, she’s basically telling me, “I already paid a nominal fee for your expertise through your online class, and I’m willing to pay more if necessary.” Offering money for professional services is a huge plus. I realize this sounds obvious, but with services like editing and writing, people often forget this. They think they are just “reading,” something many of us do for fun, but they are not. Several students have asked me to read their work or meet with them to go over what they missed in class without offering compensation. But this is my job; I expect to get paid for it. I’ll let you know if I’d like to offer it for free to you instead, like if you’re my lifelong best friend or my mom or something.

3. She waits a long time to mention the barter idea, and she does it after offering to pay. Great. Turns out I desperately needed someone to start transcribing for me, and I was broke at the time until Seinfeldia came out. She ended up working as my assistant on the barter system. We spent tons of time together while I reported it, and we even entered a Seinfeld trivia contest together. (We came in second, because I am not good at trivia.)

4. Before she ends, she tells me who she is. Cool! I like to know I’m not possibly arranging to bring a lunatic—or even an unprofessional person—into my life and writing process.

This second one in particular might not work on every author all the time. More famous and established authors are likely to have the assistance they need, or to simply not have the time to invest in an up-and-comer long-term. But even if we hadn’t been a match in terms of needs, I would have answered her and offered her some leads and resources, because she put so much time and attention into her message to me.

Or maybe I’m just a sucker for people who seem to have actually purchased and read my books. I can tell you that among authors, I’m not alone, and this will go a long way. Another thing we like: If you know we’ve got a new one coming, pre-order it, and make sure to tell us that in your message, too! Or request it from your local library and drop that mention in the note. Be sure to re-share our promotional posts or share news of our book in your own posts and tag us.

Help us help you. (Also, an addendum: I seem to have found a third good way to get a response from your favorite author. Scroll down to the comments to see.)